I tried app limits, blocking tools, deleting apps, grayscale mode, and putting my phone in another room. Some of those things helped for a few days. Then I found a way around them, ignored the warning, or reinstalled the app.
The barriers were not the whole problem
Opening certain apps had become muscle memory. The moment I felt bored, stressed, tired, or uncomfortable, my hand reached for my phone before I had made a conscious decision.
A stricter blocker could interrupt that movement, but it did not automatically teach me what to do when the barrier disappeared. I was still waiting for the restriction to end. I was still looking for the override. The urge itself had not changed.
The problem was not only that the barriers were too weak. I had never practiced noticing the urge and choosing what happened next.
When I did notice the urge, resisting often felt harder late in the day. I had already focused at work, completed boring tasks, exercised, made decisions, and handled uncomfortable situations. By the evening, reaching for quick stimulation felt almost automatic.
That is why I started using a different mental model. Instead of only making my phone harder to access, I would treat each small pause as a repetition for self-control.
Train the pause, not just the barrier
Anything that asks me to stay with a manageable amount of discomfort can become a small training repetition. For me, that includes:
- Cardio, especially at the moment I want to stop
- Meditation and breathing exercises
- Cold showers, as cheesy as they sound
- Waiting a few minutes before acting on an urge
- Finishing one small task before checking my phone
The specific exercise is not the most important part. The useful moment is when my brain says, “I do not want to do this,” and I choose to continue for a little longer.
This is not about punishing myself or proving that I can tolerate anything. It is about making one conscious choice while the weight is still light enough to lift.
Do not overtrain
I would not walk into a gym on the first day, train every muscle to complete failure, and expect to feel great the next morning. I try to approach willpower the same way.
Becoming perfectly disciplined overnight usually gives me a few intense days, followed by exhaustion and a return to old habits. I have often started highly motivated, only to forget the entire new routine within a week.
A better approach is progressive overload. Resist one urge. Meditate for two minutes. Run for ten minutes. Wait five minutes before opening the app. Then increase the weight slowly. Consistency over several months matters more to me than an extreme routine that lasts one week.
How this changed my phone use
Now, when I feel the urge to open an app, I try to treat it like a small training set. I do not always resist. I am not trying to become a monk who never touches his phone.
I am trying to create a gap between the urge and the action. Every time I notice the urge and choose not to follow it immediately, I count that as one repetition.
Over time, the automatic movement has started becoming a conscious decision. That is the real goal for me. I want to reduce compulsive screen time, but I also want to strengthen my ability to tolerate a little discomfort without immediately escaping from it.
Where Marshmallows fits
I built Marshmallows because I wanted a tool that supported this practice instead of making every decision for me. The app creates a deliberate pause around selected distracting apps and lets me choose what happens next.
It makes restraint visible through Restraint Points. It also tracks positive actions such as workouts, mindfulness, breathing exercises, and daily goals as Drive Points. Together, they show the willpower I practiced that day.
The numbers are not a scientific measurement of character. They are feedback. Seeing progress makes me want to complete another useful repetition tomorrow.
Why the app is called Marshmallows
The name is inspired by the famous delayed-gratification experiments in which children could wait for a larger reward instead of taking a smaller reward immediately. Early research associated longer waiting with later outcomes, which helped turn the marshmallow test into a powerful cultural story about self-control.
The complete scientific picture is more nuanced. A later conceptual replication found that family background, early cognitive ability, and the home environment explained much of the original association. A single childhood test does not determine somebody's future, and I would not claim that willpower is simply more important than intelligence.
The idea that stayed with me is narrower and more practical: a small pause can turn an automatic reaction into a choice. That is the moment Marshmallows is designed to help me practice.
Start with lighter weights
Do a few repetitions every day. Recover when you need to. Keep showing up. Using your phone less and becoming more focused may eventually be side effects of a more valuable change: noticing the urge and knowing that you can choose what comes next.
You do not need perfect discipline today. Start with one pause.
If you need stronger enforcement first, compare the best app blockers for iPhone and Android in 2026 and choose the kind of friction that fits your situation.